The Fuck You Bears

This one was an anniversary gift to my husband. Not really, but I do refer to the bears with our names. Everyone knows "That's fine" means "Fuck you" in most good marriages. Seriously you can have this up in the middle of your living room and no one will ever notice or comment on it.

Best Friends

I believe "Best Friends" was the next creation. This one may take a couple of minutes to recognize what the picture is. I needed to create one for the boys after Special Moments.

Special Moments

So after Balls I started to get hooked on making these. Friends also started egging me on and helping with ideas. I always liked the peasant people patterns because the people were so simple and innocent looking. I decided I wanted to make a pattern with two peasant girls walking together holding hands with one carrying a big dildo. The clear title, Special Moments. I thought it was extra special if it was a big black dildo.

Balls

So it started with "I'm gonna CRAP in your mouth." We had this in a visible place in our home for many years and realized that no one had ever noticed it unless we pointed it out to them. I started to predict that Cross stitch was so innocuous in our lives that we don't actually see it. We recognize that there is a piece of cross stitch on the wall but we can't actually get our brains to look beyond that.

I then went on a long trip overseas and had picked up a cross stitch kit from a bargain bin that would keep me occupied for much of my year and a half stay. It was of various vegetables and herbs with their names printed underneath. Many of our Grandmothers would have had these in their kitchen as mine did. When I was close to finished my husband recommended that I add something to make it more interesting. This was a difficult decision as I had probably spent 30 - 40 hours working on this pattern. It is hard to potentially wreck something that you have spent that much time on. I realized that I would probably just give it away to someone since it was so boring anyway so I spiced it up. I have recently gotten this framed so the scan will probably be bad and only of one section. I will try taking a photo of the whole thing as well. I have specifically sent people over to look at it and find the mistake. It still took them a long time to find which one of these things is not like the others.

I think Cross stitch would be good for subliminal advertising.

I'm gonna crap in your mouth

So, about 10 years ago I started doing counted cross-stitch to have some craft to do while I was watching TV.  I started with a huge Noah's Ark Sampler.  I worked on this for a few years on and off and then started looking for other Cross-stitch patterns that I liked. NOT MANY.  I decided to make one for my husband with a quote that we like to use frequently in our marriage.

Sorry this is such a bad scan but it has been framed.